Friday, November 4, 2016

Life as a Bisexual Wife


Maybe there’s a woman out there who’s struggling with her attractions to women or someone who believes negative things about bisexuals.

I am your average 31 year old married mom. I live in Southern Indiana in a big house on the edge of town. I go to college and adore my pets. My daughter and I like to go to yard sales and shop at Goodwill. I love going camping in the summer and spending time with my family. I love my husband so much it hurts. On the surface, I look like the most average person in the world. In reality, I'm nothing like that. I am bisexual. This might not sound like a big deal but for me, it was life-shaking. I was blissfully unaware for most of my life that I was attracted to women. I couldn't understand why I avoided the friendship of women, why I would get that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever a pretty girl smiled at me. Most people won't understand how something like that can go unnoticed for over half your life. If you're not looking for it, you'll never see it. Bisexuality is like a disease if it's unrecognized. It slowly seeps into every aspect of your life until your relationships suffer and you feel like you're lost in a fog. Once it's acknowledged, it becomes a quest, something that you want to learn everything about and experience all at once. 

As a bisexual woman living in the heart of the Midwest, it's tough. I can't tell my friends and family that I date women outside my marriage, I have to hide the bi-themed books I read and keep my feelings to myself. No one except my husband knows what the pink, blue and purple bracelet on my right wrist means. Being bi has had its ups and downs for me. Some days I hate it. I hate being so attracted to the waitress in a restaurant that I stutter when she asks me if I need anything. I hate trolling the dating sites looking for a woman who doesn't mind dating a couple. I hate feeling like no one really knows me, except for my husband and the women I've dated. On the other hand, I love kissing a woman. I love the way her skin feels next to mine. I love the tender, romantic way women court each other. I love and nurture the part of me where my bisexuality lives. I love the way my life feels finally complete when I have a woman in it. 

My husband and I have a very strong marriage. It wasn't always this way. Before I admitted my bisexuality, I was closed off and disinterested in sex. Now I feel like there's nothing I couldn't tell him. He understands my need to be with a woman and doesn't get jealous when I check out a girl in the grocery store. Our experiments in and out of the bedroom have strengthened our marriage to the point where I know without a doubt he is my best friend and soul mate. I know it's hard for the mainstream public to understand why a couple would want to open their marriage up to another person. For me, it wasn't a choice as much as it was a necessity. I needed to be with a woman in order to be happy. If I wasn't with a woman, then I needed to acknowledge that I wanted to be. Just being able to admit to myself and him how attracted to women I am has changed my life. I believe I could go the rest of my life without being with another woman. As long as I have my husband by my side, I would be fine. Of course, I am lucky enough to have the option to date women and explore my sexuality. I don't have to find out what life is like ignoring the fact that I'm bi. I consider myself a very lucky woman to have a wonderful, supportive husband. 

I'm not “out” to anyone, other than my husband and a couple of friends. I don't intend for my family to ever know I am bi. I understand the need to come out, to finally have no more secrets from the people you care about. For me, it would be disastrous so I avoid the subject entirely. I don't think I need my mom to know I sleep with women in order to be a true bisexual. When you're dating women, that's one of the first questions they ask. Are you “out” and to whom? I'm not opposed to coming out, I think it's right for some people and not good for others. In my life, there aren't many people who would understand my need to be with women and my husband's understanding of that need. Southern Indiana isn't exactly a progressive state like that. Around here, you're considered the oddity if you're gay. Gay people are laughed at, made fun of, and in general, avoided. Coming out for me would mean my daughter would be aware of my sex life, something I really want to avoid. I don't think it's anyone's business what and who my husband and I do in our bedroom. There are people who chastise me for not coming out. I've been called a closet bisexual and more, in chat rooms and by women I've tried to date. Maybe I am but it's my decision to make. I don't need the complications in my life right now. When my husband and I move away to another state, away from our family, I probably will be more open about my sexuality. 

The other thing being bisexual has taught me is the value of loving and accepting myself. Okay, really it was my husband who taught me that but it was a result of being bi. I've learned that I can't stuff myself into a cookie cutter mold of what I think the perfect wife and mother is. The day I realized I was bi was also the day I took all of those preconceived notions and threw them straight out the window. Not that it was instantaneous, it was a long, difficult process of soul-searching and self-discovery. It was so hard to realize I was never going to be the woman I imagined I would be when I was growing up. I had to take everything I believed and shatter it. My image of self shifted. I'm still a great mom and wife like I always wanted. I'm still the person I worked really hard to be. I'm just a slightly different person and that's okay with me.

Bisexual Wives?


I rarely find posts from husbands married to bisexual women. The few I have read were against their wives dating women because it was considered cheating just as if she dated other men.

I hit the jackpot with my wife. She did not learn she was bisexual until well after we married. She started fantasizing about sex with women until it consumed her to the point that she had to do something about it but she did not want to jeopardize our marriage. Our sex life began to suffer because of her yearning for a woman. 

Her solution made my life every man's dream. She invited her best girlfriend, someone who was just a very close friend of both of us, into our bed one night and our love for this woman that I jokingly had been calling wife number two because she was always staying with us for weeks at a time, turned sexual. My wife loved making love to her GF and even more lucky was that her GF had sex with other girls while in college. I thought that whole experimentation thing in college was just a myth but it is real.

We just all clicked because there already was a strong emotional bond among us. We had given her money to help her through hard times and let her say with us after her divorce. We were like family and adding sex to the relationship cemented that family tie. 

I am not lucky just because I have had a few thousand threesomes over the last 40 years. Even that gets as stale as sex among monogamous couples after a few years. I am lucky because in our GF I found my perfect sexual partner as did my wife. She was dominant with me and soft and tender with my wife. Both of them are sexually adventuresome and we tried just about every fetish there is except the really weird ones and animals. :)  

I often had to hold my tongue when the guys talked about having a threesome before they die. I was sick of them and began having one-on-one sex with the two women in my life after the threesome. However, performing three times a night was not so easy when I got older but luckily Viagra came along and solved that problem 

We had sex in the back of limos and on beaches around the world. We went to places in the tropics that had nude or topless beaches. We were all attractive people back them and boy did I get envious looks from other guys and dirty looks from their wives or girlfriends. The girls loved to put on a show on the dance floor starting off dirty dancing with each other. That always drew a crowd and then I would join in, kiss each of them and leave no doubt that they were both with me. It was a time where all three of us were making very high incomes and enjoyed them to the fullest.

We visited 19 counties and did everything we ever wanted to do in life. It has been a great life with two women that love me. I do not think other guys are so lucky with their bisexual wives. My wife is a one-woman, one-man kind of gal and if you ask her what kind of sex she likes best, she will say a FFM threesome. She needs both a male and a female to provide her with what she likes sexually. Other thing was that we never had a single problem due to our poly lifestyle. No jealousy or insecurity. I even had girlfriends when I was living with my wife and our GF. I just need lots of women in my life and the ladies had a don't ask, don't tell policy so it worked out for us. Once in a while I tried to get a third woman involved but the idea of having sex with me in front of my wife and lover, was too much for them. Most did not believe me anyway.

I have never told my story to anyone. Our family and straight friends never knew about our lifestyle. We moved more than a dozen times so it was not difficult to keep our lifestyle private. It is funny that when you are married, no one thinks twice that there always seemed to be my wife's girlfriend staying with us for one reason of the other. Marriage covers all sins.

Anyone else with a bi wife and if so, how did you two handle it?

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Hotwifing Can Benefit an Open Relationship.


Hotwifing is a term that applies to a woman whose man believes she is hot enough to attract men. It also implies men would desire her. The concept of another man holding, kissing and fucking your wife is considered abnormal.  But it is a fantasy that many men and women have. Research has shown that many men would love to see their woman with another man. But the question is, do women benefit from it? This post focuses on the benefits of being a hotwife.
1. Lifelong fantasy fulfilled
Many couples have fantasies about taking their relationship to a higher level. Hotwifing is a way of expressing yourself while having fun. While many couples have hotwifing fantasies, most are unable to express themselves. They fear what their partner might think. One of the benefits of hotwifing to women is the fulfillment of a lifelong fantasy.
2. Freedom
A hotwife will have freedom to enjoy other men. Many women would think about sex with other men but don’t have the opportunity to do so. When a man desires his woman to be with other men, his wife has the freedom to have them.
3. Jealousy
Jealously is the primary reason relationships fail to work. Feeling insecure has contributed to disagreements in relationships. Hotwifing helps free her man from feeling jealous. When your wife has freedom to be who she wants to be, she knows you have her best interest at heart. This will engender her trust in you. Any man who gets off watching his wife with another man, will help eliminate feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
4. Communication
A relationship should be built on trust and communication. If you want a happy relationship, both must understand each other and give each other freedom. Before a man and wife agree on the hotwife lifestyle, they must discuss it and agree to want it. Hotwifing will increase trust and communication and will bring them closer together. The hotwife will feel that her man trusts her. As a result, the bond between man and hotwife will be greatly enhanced.
5. Beautiful and attractive
Men will feel their hotwives are amazing.
When other men admire his hotwife, it means that she is beautiful and attractive. Every man desires his woman to be other men's dream. Hotwifing provides the opportunity to appreciate how beautiful and attractive she is to other men. This will cause him to love and respect her more deeply.
6. Confidence
Hotwifing allows women to express themselves. This helps boost her confidence. When a woman knows her man supports her doing what she wants, she will feel good about herself. This will boost her self-confidence.
7. Intimacy
Hotwifing gives a couple the opportunity to improve their intimacy and gain important knowledge will help make their intimate life together better. New excitement and variety in sex will help improve your intimate life.
8. Satisfaction
Hotwifing creates a platform to attain deep physical satisfaction. His woman will have the opportunity to spend quality time with a man while becoming intimate. This will quench her thirst for men she finds attractive.

In conclusion, the benefits if hotwifing are much greater than what many think. However, complete trust is required to ensure that both are happy in the lifestyle.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

First Time Hotwife


My husband and I both shared the fantasy of a threesome with another man for some time, and he also enjoyed thinking about me with other men, but I never thought about fulfilling it. He tried to convince me to realize the fantasy as long as we are still young and attractive. I never thought it would happen, but I started to open up for this possibility. About 3 months ago he began to share pictures of me and was also PMing with a few Redditors. One of them, let’s call him BD, lives a few hours away from us, but travels to our area once in a while. About 2 weeks ago BD told us that he will be in our area for a couple of days, and asked to meet with us.

After reading my husband’s correspondence with BD, I really liked his approach and was somehow persuaded to meet him, but said that I didn’t promise anything. As the days went by, I was more and more excited about the whole idea (This made both of us incredibly horny, and fuck like rabbits that week). We couldn’t get a sitter for our kids, so we could only meet at our place. I can be a little shy in situations like this, so my husband thought that if he’ll give us instructions in the context of a sexy photo-shoot, it’ll help me open up. The day of the meeting came, and I was very pleased to discover that BD looked better in real life than in the pictures (don’t get me wrong, he looked fine in the photos he sent us). The moment he came through the door I knew I wanted him. We talked for about an hour, and got to know a bit more about each other. At some point I signaled my husband that I was ready.

My husband took control and suggested that he and BD would switch seats so he would sit one next to me, and that he’ll get the camera and start the photo shoot. First, my husband asked us to kiss. BD was very gentle at first but soon enough we were kissing each other passionately. At this point, I lost my inhibitions and we didn’t wait for more directions and took more initiative. From time to time my husband stepped in with some requests, and this was how I lost my panties :). After making out for some time, BD asked my husband to switch places with him and he watch us as we kiss. Very quickly I was riding and fucking my husband on the couch in front of BD. After a while BD pulled his cock out of his pants, and I thought it was some kind of optical illusion. Can it be that big? So I asked him to come closer. I grabbed his cock while riding my husband and put it in my mouth. Yep, it was that big, the biggest I’ve seen thus far (FYI my husband is well above average). I really enjoyed having his massive dick in my mouth and sucking it, so I decided to give it more attention, and after sometime got off of my husband to concentrate on BD. I got completely wet from sucking his cock and from the occasional clicking sounds of the camera which reminded me that my husband was watching. 

After a while we moved to the bedroom, and my husband asked me to remove all my clothes, get on top of BD and rub my labia on his dick. My husband decided to step in and put his cock in my mouth. Feeling 2 cocks at the same time felt absolutely amazing, and my husband had to ask me not to come as he knows how fast I can come when I’m so turned on. He then went to fuck me doggy style while BD put his dick in my mouth. This particular position never turned me on when I thought about having a threesome before, but it was so amazing I could do it all night long. Unfortunately BD had to leave before he got a chance to fuck me, so we decided to meet on the following night and continue where we stopped (it didn’t of course prevent my husband and I from continuing without him…)

I was super excited during the following day. I was both thrilled and intimidated when I thought about his massive dick penetrating me. The next night things moved much quicker, and I learned that not only BD has a big cock, but he also knows what to do with it. My husband decided to just sit and watch us fucking and I was so excited to think of him masturbating to me having sex with another man. After a while my husband decided to join us and I was again having that the awesome feeling of 2 dicks pleasuring me. I came twice that night, and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face the following day. In the days after that encounter my husband and I were so full of passion, we had some of the best sex of my life. All in all, it was an amazing experience.

Thoughts About Mutual Masturbation for Lesbians

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Swinger Wrist Bands - Color Definitions

Novice - These individuals are new to the Lifestyle and are still exploring whether or not they want to become involved. It is extremely important to honor their candor in identifying themselves as swing virgins. They're titillated by the idea, but one or both spouses are still unsure about actual involvement. They desire information, conversation, and possibly mentorship. Seasoned swingers are encouraged to act as gentle ambassadors. Please provide the information they seek, without actively enlisting them. It is important to remember that these individuals may ultimately decided that the Lifestyle is not right for them. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Purple WristbandVoyEx - These individuals enjoy watching and being watched. Two or more couples will engage in sex acts with their own spouse or significant other while remaining visible to, and in close proximity to playmates. Many enjoy swing clubs for the atmosphere, but play only with their own spouse. Physical attraction, chemistry, and friendship are often important. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise
Swinger Lifestyle Pink WristbandSoft Swap - Theses individuals enjoy sexual interaction with others just short of intercourse. Sexual activity is limited to flirting, heavy petting, kissing, licking, and possibly oral sex. Physical attraction, chemistry, and friendship are often important. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Dark Blue WristbandLowest level of Full Swap - These individuals will engage in everything up to and including intercourse with the opposite spouse or significant other. Most have established rules regarding what is and is not acceptable. Many require that their spouse or significant other remain in the same room or at least in full view. Physical attraction, chemistry, and friendship are often important. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Dark Green WristbandSecond level of Full Swap - These individuals will engage in everyting up to and including intercourse with the opposite spouse or significant other. Most require their spouse or significant other to be on the premises but not necessarily in the same room. Physical attraction, chemistry, and friendship are often important. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Yellow WristbandThird level of Full Swap - These individuals will engage in everything up to and including intercourse with the opposite spouse or significant other. Spouses or significant others are usually required to remain on the premises but not necessarily in the same room. Physical attraction and chemistry are usually important. On-going friendship usually not important and often not even desired. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Red WristbandForth level of Full Swap - These individuals have an open relationship. They play alone or together. They are free to have sex with whomever they choose, whenever or wherever they please, as long as they inform their spouse or significant other. Most are okay with casual encounter and do not desire on-going friendships. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Black WristbandAnything Goes - These individuals have no rules or requirements at all. They will have sex with anyone, anywhere, at any time. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Cobalt WristbandBisexual - This individual is bisexual. The person may be male or female. He or she may be single or attached. This color simply signifies that the individual will engage in sexual activity with member of the same sex. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Swinger Lifestyle Light Green WristbandGeneric Wristband - This individual is a swinger but does not wish to be identified in any other respect. If you want to know what this person will engage in you will have to ask. Reasons for wearing a generic band vary. Sometimes the individual's swing style depends on the venue. Sometimes these individuals will move from one category to the other, depending on how and by whom they are approached. Some individuals simply enjoy a sense of mystery and the process of discovery, and some resent categorization. Purchase swinger lifestyle merchandise

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Hotwife, MILF, Coyote, Black-on-White Sex Phenomena

See original post at

Even though data varies greatly on affairs, to understand the hotwife, MILF and cougar phenomenon we need to start with the chart below.

One major caveat: This chart is based on urban, working men and women and is undoubtedly skewed toward liberal respondents.

We know that during war years when the husband was away resulted in spikes in the figures for both men and women.

With men stationed in foreign counties (prior to the Iraq and Afghanistan wars) this has been reliably measured at 85% for men.

Note that the number of affairs among married women has been steadily increasing and according to some (as yet limited) research the percentage in some urban areas now exceeds the number for married men.

Young men may prefer older women because, while being less sexually inhibited, often they don't represent the emotional entanglements or demands that younger women can.

According to one man, "There are not 'will-she-or-won't-she' games and disappointments. They know what they are after, and I guess I like a sure thing."

       The increasing figures for women are primarily due to the jump in number of women in the work force -- especially in office environments where men and women work closely together for long hours.

In many parts of our society a single woman who "discretely sleeps around a bit" is no longer branded promiscuous.

While that may not be a surprise for single women, the growing number of married women with lovers on the side -- even with their husband's permission -- may be. Enter hotwives.

What Has Spurred the Hotwife Phenomenon

        (2) Although it might surprise most women, having a hotwife or a wife that selectively meets men for sex ranks among the top male fantasies.

Having a hotwife signifies to both the wife and her husband that, although older, she is still sexually desirable and sought-after.

As one woman put it, "Just because I'm older, married, and a mother, doesn't mean I can't sometimes play the role of a whore."

The male fantasy of having a hotwife can start after a few years of marriage and thereafter intensify. Some say the reasons can be traced back thousands of years.

The motivations for the wife cover a wide spectrum. In this introductory article we'll cover a few of the most common. This will include MILFs.

While the husband's and the wife's motivations in the cuckold husband-hotwife relationship might be quite different, they share a common goal

According to one cuckold husband, "Maybe it's perverse, but I like to picture guys shagging my pretty little wife and her getting off on it."

The Wife's Motivation
        Accounts of the hotwife lifestyle seldom go into any depth on the wife's motivation -- partly because until recently research about the sex drive in women was threatening to men.
Recent research has shown that, although repressed, women have a biological propensity for having sex with multiple partners, just as men do.

In fact, there is archeological evidence suggesting that women had to be promiscuous during early times in order to survive.

When you strip away the cultural and religious suppression of the female sex drive today, it appears that, once aroused and given license, the sex drive in women can be just as strong as it is in men.

The extent of this repression is discussed in Sexual Empowerment for Women.

Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, but, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems.

        Professional stress typically lowers the male libido (their interest in sex). On the other hand, sexually liberated women typically find that sex reduces their stress.

Rather than have their wives do without something they enjoy (and possibly even need),some (very secure) husbands decide to encourage their wives to have for-sex-only liaisons with select men.

Although we would assume in our somewhat chauvinistic society men would jealously forbid "their" women to have sexual relations with anyone but them, in the hotwife phenomena men are turned on by sharing their wives. The "rules" for this are varied and are covered elsewhere in this chapter.

Many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous.

While holding to the security of her primary relationship, the hotwife may revel in experiencing sexual freedom.
In historical studies it has been found that adventurous, free-loving women have been both more appealing to men and more socially powerful than women that were "only" beautiful and virtuous.

For her highly praised book,Seductress: Women Who Have Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love, Betsy Prioleau, researched the most influential women throughout the ages.
These women were seldom bound by marital fidelity, making them not unlike some of the most notable and influential men throughout the ages.

According to Prioleau, women need to awaken their suppressed sexuality, learn to experience multiple organisms, and reap the glow and excitement that comes from sexual experiences. Related books can be found on this site's bibliography.

       Many women are reluctant to try new things even within their marriages. These barriers often fall with the expectations of new sexual partners.

According to one husband:

She was never interested in oral sex, but when she started going out with men, she soon found out that was expected, so she got used to it, and very soon she was regularly giving me oral sex.

As a hotwife she knows she will be introduced to new experiences and pleasures -- not to mention the "wining and dining" that generally comes with it.

Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife or MILF, she will probably find that men are again interested in her.

For some women this constitutes a "sexual reawakening."

According to one woman, As a hotwife, I've found a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband or even being worried about what people will think.

If I want to go out with an interesting guy and if he wants to take me to bed, I have the freedom to just let it happen. Some of the best sex I've ever had started this way.

           At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that few husbands would be willing to grant.
Therefore, she knows she needs to be careful in being totally open and honest with her husband about her lovers. This means that there are no secret conversations or secret meetings with men.

It also means that she will constantly monitor her husband's feelings about what she is doing. It may also mean that in some cases the husband may want to approve of the men she goes out with.

        In some circles a woman may wear a conspicuous gold ankle chain on her right ankle to tell men "in the know" that she's a hotwife."

        Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that, although married, she has sexual freedom.

 According to one hotwife, "I'm no knockout--never have been--but since a lot of guys like 'a sure thing,'

Many couples feel that their particular jobs and lifestyles are being pretty dull and routine, and to compensate they may search for a strong diversion.

For most people sexual diversions end up being the most absorbing and, therefore, having the most power, I end up enjoying some good sex."

Black-on-White Sex

You might have noticed that the internet is full of black-on-white (white woman, black man) porn pictures. It's one of the major draws for porn.

Although some white women may find this incomprehensible, it is nonetheless a real phenomena, even in the South.

Although mixed marriages were once illegal in parts of the United States, most people now accept them. In some schools, mixed-race dating (white girl, black boyfriend) is the "in thing."

Mixed race (7) children are also becoming accepted -- so much so that some white husbands with fertility problems have taken a direct route in "breeding" their white wives with virile black men, sometimes saying that the resulting child was adopted. let her have a black lover explains this from the male point of view. In case you are wondering how this can get started we have this Short Shower Scene. black-white story from the woman's perspective is told in this revealing two-part case history.
The Husband's Motivation

       Husbands have many motivations for encouraging their wives to be hotwives. We will touch on many of these and provide links to explanations and examples.
First, there is the possibility that the husband may suspect that his wife is becoming interested in experiencing sex with someone else. (Note statistics in affairs cited at the beginning of this chapter.)

In some cases the husband may either not be able to keep up with his wife's sexual needs, or because of age or medications, may no longer be able to "perform" to her satisfaction.

It is important to note that the hotwife (cuckold) husband wants his wife's sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional involvement.
In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex -- be "out in front of it" -- and even have some control over it.
            Keeping up with my wife's sexual needs was getting more and more difficult  -- even a bit of a chore.

I bought her a gold ankle chain.  At first she wasn't sure what it really signified, except that some men started pursuing her as a MILF. I encouraged her to go out with them.

" ...Before long she got used to regularly getting it from different men. ...So now she's happy, they are happy, and I'm sort of off the hook." 
The fact that his wife will readily let men take her to bed while still being firmly committed to the relationship may make her more exciting and desirable to the husband.  There's more here 

Most cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public), but, among select men, they may want their wives to be known as good in bed and easy to get into bed.
See this file on how the husband wants her to appear to others.

Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to the vast majority — these husbands believe that a healthy and well-adjusted woman should enjoy sex and has the right to (9) be just as open about it as men. Regular sex has both physical and psychological benefits for a woman.

       The husband involved (cuckold husband) may pride himself in being secure enough to handle a hotwife.

He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man's wife).

When we first started considering this option, we had a lot of fears: we feared what people would think about us, we feared how it would affect our relationship, we feared STD, we feared unexpected emotional involvement. 
"But, once we agreed on the rules and plunged in, and after a few very rocky episodes, we were eventually able to handle things. Now we see a lot of  benefits....

-a letter from hotwife couple

        The hotwife may realize that her sexual freedom depends on her husband's continued approval and even excitement over what she is doing.

Although she may know that a good bit of what she tells him supports his fantasies, if she is smart, she will cater to these, keeping in mind that what she is doing is often as much for his benefit as for hers.

The dynamics of a hotwife-cuckold husband relationship can represent a delicate balancing act for a hotwife. This is covered in more detail here.

The Hotwife - Cuckold Husband Marriage

        Although many people question the nature of the hotwife-cuckold husband marriage, the two may actually share a deep love for each other.

Ironically. the hotwife lifestyle (if it's handled right) can even bring the two of them closer together. Among other things it often sparks sexual excitement in the male—having a bit of competition will do that—and make him more attentive.

He may move into bit of a courting mode. And, the couple may find that the true basis for their marriage is (or at least should be) based on love, and not sexual exclusivity or a legal obligation.

        The cuckold husband is typically not interested in having sex with other women. (This would constitute swinging, which is very different.)

He seems to be satisfied with just vicariously experiencing his wife's sexual experiences.

       Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually "hot" may provide him with an ego boost.

At the same time she must appear (before him and others) to be totally devoted to him.

According to one hotwife, "I love my husband, but I don't think I should be locked out from experiencing something different for the rest of my life.

Later in the same letter she said, "Sure, it's gotten around that while married I 'put out,' but, frankly, I like the experience of still being to turn on and satisfy men."

..."Some women behind my back I'm sure say I'm a whore, but chances are they've let themselves go, have dead battery husbands, and are now stuck with only experiencing romance through romance novels."

For Those Considering This Lifestyle

        Clearly, the hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness.

Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized.
Even so, many people we've heard from have learned to (or have been forced to) master these things as shown in many of our letters, including "The Long Trip Home."

The vast majority of men and women have a need to see a partner as exclusively theirs.
You must remember that it was not all that many years ago that the wife was considered the property of the husband and even the rape of a wife was more of an affront to him and his family than it was to the woman who was raped.

Some religions and autocratic groups still use sex as a way of controlling people. Except for some right-wing religious and political cults, we have largely abandoned such views.
Maybe society will evolve to the point where individuals are secure enough in themselves not to be threatened by the prospect of open relationships. However, for the vast majority, that time is not now.

       Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, much of society isn't.
With most people there is still a stigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that allows his wife to have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners.

This can be a problem in a work environment where "character" is a part of job performance and promotion considerations.

A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the "wife as the husband's property" notion says that a husband should keep his wife "under control," and if she has affairs she definitely isn't "under control."

Although the following may be a bit defensive and reactionary, here are the words of one cuckold husband:

Sure, there are Neanderthals that think of her as a bit of a slut, but that's their problem. 
At least she is not like the prissy, tight-assed, not-tonight women that many husbands suffer with
While many couples try to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out.

At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won't have this concern.

All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in some countries, one wonders if somewhere down the road the society won't be ready to accept open relationships and hotwives.

We seem to be in the early stages of that now.