Friday, May 26, 2017

An Exclusive Interview – Meet CurvyHotWife


An Exclusive Interview – Meet CurvyHotWife


You know that quintessential wife with the warm and fun personality…the supermom mother of 3 type, who also happens to be a MILF, bakes “a metric shit-ton” of goodies for her family, etc.? Everyone knows the kind of woman I’m talking about.

Now imagine if she were a genuine certified hotwife who had her own website and went by the name CurvyHotwife. Would you be interested in reading an interview with a woman like that?

Of course you would. Let’s give a warm welcome to CurvyHotwife as she takes time out of her busy schedule and gives us a special peak into her secret hotwife lifestyle.

The Interview

Q: How did you get started in the hotwifing lifestyle?
A: We started in the hotwife lifestyle about 3 years ago with a pretty casual conversation to be honest. Over a few months, we had been offhandedly mentioning that when the kids were older we should try out swinging.  That led to my husband bringing it up again a few days later but with a slight twist. Since it’s unlikely that we’d both be able to go out and play together (due to our schedules, young kids at home and a lack of babysitters) he asked If I’d be interested in ‘hotwifing’ since that was also a fantasy of his. I was intrigued to say the least and the conversation escalated from there.
The conversations leading up to making it a reality were casual and laid back as well, in part because I didn’t think it would work out. We discussed expectations, established boundaries and all that good (and crucial) stuff and then we made our first online dating profile. From there we kind of jumped in head first (which I don’t recommend) and the lead up was maybe a few days/weeks.

Q: What does your current hotwifing situation look like?
A: Our current hotwife situation looks very different than it did at first. Live and learn I suppose.
I never have and don’t plan on ever sharing exact numbers, it’s one of the few things that stays between myself, my husband and my partners.
As far as frequency, it varies so much. At first I was busy to say the least. Over time though there’s seems to be an ebb and flow to engaging in hotwife play. I’d say I have a date at least monthly but sometimes more often. Since this kink comes after ‘real life’ our availability varies as much as our schedules do. Overall, I’m happy with the current hotwife lifestyle we have. Dates are frequent but they don’t interfere with our day to day stuff.  We communicate about dates, new experiences, and we make the kink work for us and our lifestyle.

Q: What are the 3 most appealing things to you about living your life as a hotwife?
A: The most obvious is the freedom that this lifestyle affords—the freedom to explore new and varying experiences and the freedom to continue being a sexual person with less constraints. There’s also the freedom of communication that its brought to our marriage. This kink opens up a world of new ideas, new sexy topics to discuss and more and it’s all very exciting and new to us.
Part of the appeal is with the fact that in order to live this lifestyle our marriage has to be running on all cylinders. It’s a source of happiness and pride that I know we can manage the ups and downs successfully and that we grow stronger as we live out this kink.

The community around my hotwife journey is a close second. When we started a few years ago I posted on a reddit forum to ask a few questions since it was difficult to find any relevant info online. From there people started following our journey and I’ve been fortunate to have an unbelievable amount of support and encouragement from various people around the world. What started as asking a few quick questions has turned into so much more, like learning how to build and create my hotwife website, posting my date night pics & videos online for fellow hotwife enthusiasts, meeting and chatting with incredible people from various backgrounds, creating couples kink, having a hotwife only kik group, and now I’m on snapchat as a way to reach out even more and talk to people about this lifestyle (and share my day to day life).

From day one I promised (myself and others) that I would be honest, forthright and realistic about our journey and offer what I can to help other couples navigate this kink and I’m proud that I’ve done exactly that and will continue to.  I consider it a privilege that so many people have reached out to me for advice and I’m always happy to help if it means that another couple, husband, wife or single guy as a better experience with living out this fantasy. The community that I’ve found is something that was a complete surprise but it’s truly one of the highlights of this lifestyle for me.

I love having a dirty little secret. In ‘real life’ I’m a mom of three and a loving a devoted wife. I’ve been with my husband since I was 19 (I’m 33) and our friends and family have no idea that we partake in the hotwife lifestyle (let alone that we’re so heavily involved). I love that when I can’t make plans it’s usually because I’ have a hot date that night. I love that nobody knows, besides my husband, that I missed that pta meeting or girl’s night out because I was getting railed in a hotel room by a hot guy that I’d been flirting with for weeks. It’s a unique situation and while I don’t feel the least bit of shame I think it’s oddly fun to have this secret between myself and my husband that’s a little bit dirty, very unexpected and incredibly sexy.

I could go on forever about the various aspects of the hotwife lifestyle that appeal to me but those are the first three that come to mind. Honestly, it’s been an incredible journey that has brought us new friends, relationships and new opportunities that I could have never imagined.

Q: What’s your favorite food, and favorite dessert?
A: Easy, I like meat (vegetarians need not apply) so I’ll go with cheeseburgers.  My favorite dessert is harder to answer; decadence is my downfall. I bake all the time so anything homemade like pie, cookies, cake, etc. I like it all to be honest and I don’t want to pick a favorite.

 Q: What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done in the bedroom?
A: I honestly don’t consider myself kinky so this one is always difficult to answer. Sleeping with other men is my kinky thing I do but we’ve done the usual blindfolds, toys, bondage tape, etc.
I keep it vanilla on dates for the most part, the kinkier it is the greater level of trust it requires so my rule is nothing that requires a safe word on dates, at home those rules go out of the window.

Q: Who’s your favorite painter, and favorite musician?
A: My favorite painter is Salvador Dali. Cliché, I know. I enjoy being able to get lost in a painting and I like to walk away pleased and slightly confused so Dali does it for me. Favorite musician is like asking me to pick my favorite child, it depends on the day. The top few in rotation are  Bob Marley, Queen, RHCP, Sublime, Tupac, John Denver, Fleetwood Mac, Biggie Smalls,  Zeppelin, Billy Joel, Prince…the list goes on and on.

Q: What advice do you have for couples who are interested in pursuing the hotwife lifestyle, but can’t find any good men, or the right men?
A: My advice would depend on where they’re looking. There are a lot of dating sites and apps and personally I prefer the online route as opposed to including friends or colleagues.
As far as finding the right men, give guys a chance. Many couples have ‘a list’ of highly specific wants in a new partner. Obviously having preferences and standards is to be expected but maybe ease up on trying to check off every box every time. This is a bit of a strange situation for most guys so give them a little wiggle room and don’t hold too strictly to ideals. There are a lot of great guys out there, you just have to have the patience to vet so many others but I think it’s worth it because when you find someone who fulfills what you’re looking for its really amazing and makes for a great time for everyone involved.

Q: How can you be so sure you wouldn’t leave your husband for someone you’re sleeping with?
A: It’s not easy to articulate something that you just ‘know’ with every fiber of your being. I can say that it’s just not an option in my mind or my heart. Open marriage or not, there’s quite literally nothing that could come between myself, my husband, and our marriage. We’ve built a life together and he’s my best friend and I truly don’t want anyone or anything else so there’s no temptation or desire to be swayed otherwise.
I strongly believe that if the temptation of being with someone stronger, fitter, wealthier, etc is there then this is not the kink for you. I’ve met many men who, on paper, are amazing ’catches’ but if you’re not interested in catching someone it doesn’t make a difference.

Q: What are 5 things a man can do to help ease his wife into the hotwife lifestyle if she’s a bit unsure about it?
A: First, there’s a big difference between easing into this and convincing. I’m not a fan of talking someone into a kink they aren’t into or ‘tricking’ her into doing it. If she’s on the fence though (which I’ve also written about in more detail) and wanting to test the waters or understand the kink better here’s what I recommend.
  1. Dirty Talk: If she’s into then it can be an optimal time to ‘play out’ the things you’d like to see her do with someone else. It’ll help her visualize where your expectations are and what kind of specific things turn you on about the hotwife fantasy.
  2. Roleplay: Similar to dirty talk in that she should already be into it. Play out the scenarios that she’d like to engage in. Pretend she’s on a date, record a roll in the hay like she might do on a date, get dressed up, wear a different cologne to really drive the idea home.
  3. Toys: Buy some new sex toys- get different sizes, colors, textures. Play with blindfolds and pretend there’s a third guy joining you in the bedroom. Tease and play and make it an enjoyable experience that you’ll both want more of.
  4. Create the space to share fantasies: Have the kind of relationship that you can truly talk about anything openly. Don’t be judgmental if her ideas are vastly different than your expectations of the hotwife fantasy. I’ve heard from so many husbands who want this to play out in a very specific way and when their wife has different ideas they completely lose it on her. It’s cruel, unfair and doesn’t foster an atmosphere that she’ll feel excited to talk about sexy ideas and fantasies with you.
  5. No idea what else to do. Foster an environment where you can explore fantasies, build the trust it takes to be successful in this lifestyle, start slow at home and go at her pace, don’t pressure/shame/guilt her into it. Lastly, pray to the hotwife gods that she’s a secret freak and wants to get some strange from time to time.
Q: What does your husband find appealing about the hotwife lifestyle?
A: I passed this off to him so his answer is:
I like that being able to do it successfully is proof that our marriage is strong, and that we’re able to explore thoughts and ideas that might not have come up otherwise. Being in a hotwife relationship enables my wife to have a more varied selection of experiences and a different form of friendships than are allowed in conventional marriages.

I enjoy seeing my wife able to relax, have less inhibited sex, and “step outside” of her day to day life to enjoy herself and meet new people. Of course I also love the plethora of provocative pictures and videos I now have of my wife; I absolutely love even seeing her naked, and now I’m able to watch her getting fucked, playing with different cocks, and doing very sexy things.

I’ll add that it’s enabled us to talk about sex more openly and without judgement, and that she’s more comfortable talking about her private sexual thoughts and feelings which I enjoy immensely.

Q: What are questions a husband and wife should ask themselves before embarking on the road to living the hotwife lifestyle?
A: I’ve written this up before and spelled out quite a few questions that I think couples should peruse as a starting point and/or conversation topics. Communication is key so I love hearing that it’s helped couples to ask things they were apprehensive to on their own, or that it helped them understand each other better before starting.

Q: What are the 3 biggest mistakes a couple could make when living the hotwife lifestyle?
A: 1) Failing to communicate openly and honestly. It’s not easy, but it’s vital to making this fantasy work. It takes a huge amount of trust and respect; along with that comes the need to be open with each other about your thoughts, feelings, expectations, desires and opinions.

2) Getting caught in the kink: there’s a few ways it can play out: falling into the whirlwind of new sexual energy can be intoxicating but it makes it very easy to let your sex life center around this kink. Avoid that and make sure you still take time to ‘be yourselves’ and not feel the need to make everything about the fantasy. It can also be getting caught up in what other people want. Some men are very suggestive – ok, they’re downright pushy – it’s especially true when you’re new to this. It’s easy to let the third person have too much input and you can lose sight of what you want from the experience as a couple. Make sure you put your needs and wants first, and then find a third who’s into whatever you’re putting out there.

I can only think of two. I think that if you’re being open, honest and putting your relationship first most other things will fall into place easily. Also every couple is going to make mistakes, it’s not as avoidable as we’d all like it to be unfortunately. How you, as a couple, handles those mistakes it what matters. Mistakes can make you stronger as a couple, they can help you define what you want this lifestyle to look like, and they can help you open up. Embrace the mistakes because they’re going to happen; just make the most of moving on in a positive way.

I’d like to thank CurvyHotwife for taking the time to do this interview with us.  If you want a more intimate and in-depth look into her hotwife lifestyle, then check out her website at for her own personal stories, pictures, videos, and more!

Friday, May 19, 2017

Hotwife Diaries


An Exclusive Interview – Meet YoungHotwifeDiary

How interesting would it be to read the diary of a young couple in their mid to late twenties who are exploring the hotwife lifestyle?  That’s partially a rhetorical question since there’s an obvious answer and begins with “Yes, where can I find it?!?!”
There’s a couple on Tumblr that goes by the name YoungHotwifeDiary, and they have been chronicling their journey with intimately detailed pictures, stories, and updates. It is extremely fascinating and erotic. And guess what? They were willing to give us an exclusive look into their escapades and share some really great advice about boundaries, intimacy, and insights into the female mind.  Check it out below!

The Interview

Q: How did you get started in the Hotwife lifestyle?
A: My boyfriend and I started talking about the idea for me having sex with another guy while he would watch when we were in bed doing our things… And after some months – years talking about it, we finally decided to do it for real.

Q: What was your most memorable experience while living the Hotwife lifestyle?
A: I would say my first date with a lover. It went really great and I keep a great memory of it, both because of the guy I met and also because after it my boyfriend and I were happy about how it went and nothing changed between us.

Q: How many guys have you been with since you started the Hotwife lifestyle, and what’s that been like for you?
A: So far I’ve met 4 different guys but I’ve repeated with one of them. Each of the guys were really different one from another and I enjoyed knowing them all and feeling how they were acting with me.

Q: What are 5 of the sexiest things related to being a hotwife that you do to tease your husband?
A: 1) Letting him know that having sex with him is different than with any other man because I love him.
2) Talking about the lovers I had while we have sex, we both enjoy that.
3) Buying new clothes, makeup…
4) Often I tell him how much I look forward to have a new date with a lover
5) When I have found a new guy I tell my boyfriend how much I like the lover, and that I can’t wait!

Q: What advice do you have for couples who are interested in pursuing the Hotwife lifestyle but can’t find any good men, or the right men?
A: I would say that it’s necessary to look for a man that the woman really feels great with. I always take a lot of time to know the lover before meeting in person, chatting or phone calls. Actually I think it’s also part of the hotwife lifestyle, to be able to seduce another person than your boyfriend/husband, and I really like it too. So it takes time to find the right man but I think it’s worth it to wait for the good one and not having dates with the first one that you find.

Q: What boundaries do you have in your relationship as it relates to living the Hotwife lifestyle, and how do you make sure you don’t break them?
A: We don’t really have fixed boundaries, because both my boyfriend and I kind of “know” the things that we like or dislike. For example the boundaries I put to myself is not to have a hotwife lifestyle 100% of my time. I mean with it that I don’t talk about it every day, or I don’t make phone calls or chat with my lovers every day. It’s easy not to break it because I have many other important things in my life and of course I love to be a hotwife but I don’t think about it all day long! It’s a part of my life and myself, but not all my life.

Q: What are the top 5 pieces of advice you would share with couples who are new to the Hotwife lifestyle regarding setting up boundaries?
A: 1) Not letting the hotwife lifestyle take all the place in your relationship
2) Be sure to understand yours and your boyfriend’s needs
3) I think you’ve to know each other very good and that way it will be easy to set up boundaries because for example, both of you will know what is too much.
4) Try to put yourself in the shoes of your boyfriend/husband to understand how he could react to something. For example, something would turn you on a lot but maybe for your boyfriend it wouldn’t be the case as he’s watching you and not doing it.
5) If you want to try something new, always ask about it to your boyfriend to know if he would like it or not. Talking is always important!

Q: What do you think are the top 5 reasons why a woman would reject or not be open to exploring the Hotwife lifestyle with their husband?
A: 1) Being shy, both to meet a man she doesn’t know and to be observed by her husband while she’s with the lover.
2) Being worried about breaking the relationship with her boyfriend/husband
3) Not having a relationship that is good enough to have a hotwife lifestyle. If my relationship with my boyfriend wouldn’t be as good as it is, I don’t think I would have tried the hotwife lifestyle.
4) Being afraid to be “discovered”. For example I’m lucky because I live far from my family and friends so I know I won’t meet anybody that I don’t want to when I have my dates, but if my dates would take place in the same area where my family lives I think I would feel uncomfortable.
5) Not being understood by the husband. If there is no communication and you can’t explain why you would like to be a hotwife I don’t think you would enjoy starting doing it.

Q: What are 5 things a husband can do to help increase the levels of intimacy in his relationship with his wife?
A: 1) Treat her like before being a hotwife, because being one doesn’t change you or your personality.
2) Listen to the needs of the wife in bed and make her satisfied
3) Asking about her lovers, dates, her feelings about them; to be involved in the hotwife lifestyle
4) Showing that you’re also excited about your wife being a hotwife.
5) You have to be confident with your wife and let her know that you can talk about anything.

I’d like to thank YoungHotwifeDiary for taking the time to share their experiences with us. If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and check out their Tumblr here ( for all the juicy details, pictures, and recaps of their experiences in the lifestyle.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Husband caught me with our dog

Husband caught me with our dog

I am a stay-at-home Mom and our two children are now in school full time so I have found that I have a lot of spare time now. I was cleaning the bathroom floor one day and had on shorts. They covered me but were pretty loose fitting. I am not sure what got into our dog, but he walked up behind me as I was working my way backwards out the door and stuck his nose right into my rear. I was a little startled but told him to back up buddy, he was persistent and came up to me again this time with his tongue trying to get a taste of me. I turned around and looked at him asking him just what he thought he was doing and I just stared at him for a second then pulled my shorts down to my knees to see what he would do. He liked it a lot and licked me into an orgasm after about twenty minutes.

I laid there on the floor for a minute after realizing what I had just done and told myself never again. The next day, there I was again on the floor and the couch letting him lick me all he wanted. I did this for quite a few months then one day my husband decided to surprise me and come home early from work so we could do lunch. 

I was doing stuff around the house and still had the music up loud while our dog was licking me. I was in our bedroom laying on the bed with my hips just off the bed enjoying the oral pleasure when I looked up and my husband was standing in the doorway. I froze just staring at him but our dog continued licking away on me. He walked over and sat down on the bed. The dog stopped licking me and went over to get some petting. My husband patted his head and rubbed his ears while he leaned over and started kissing me deeply. He then tapped my pubic hair getting our dog to started licking me again which he gladly started doing.

He spread me out and that made my clit exposed getting licked much harder. I was twitching with every stroke. I came with a great orgasm while my husband just kept my lips spread enjoying the view.

I asked him if he liked what he saw and he told me he had fantasized about seeing me do something like this but never thought I would do it. Then he told me that the dog probably needed some satisfaction himself. I was not sure what he meant but he asked me to get down on the floor on all fours while he got the dog to enter me. I was shocked at the size of him as he grew very quickly and was humping me very fast and hard. He did not last long and pulled out of me walking around.

My husband had already taken his pants off and kneeled down behind me. He had sex with me for about ten minutes and after he came we both got into the shower. He then asked me how often I have sex with the dog. I told him that was my first time having intercourse but he has been licking me for a few months now. After the kids are asleep he wakes me up sometimes and likes to watch the dog pleasure me and has watched me suck him off as well.

Lesbian Guide - Oral Sex to a Woman


The 1st Timers Lesbian Guide to How To Give Oral Sex to a Woman You Desire
Oh how I love getting this very common question, posted again at a site I visit, ( and here is the question and answer.

I'm in my early 20s and have only been with a girl once. We weren't together for very long but it was my first 'girl experience'. She went down on me once (which was pretty good), but I never got the chance to go down on her. To be honest, I wasn't extremely attracted to her, and for me to have incredible sex I have to feel 100% attracted to the person sexually and emotionally.

So, what is it like? Is it enjoyable? How do you know how to please her? I'm kind of scared I won't be good at it, or that I won't like how she tastes... I don't know! But I fantasize all the time about doing it to the woman I'm crushing on. But reality is always different. So, spill!

This is a great thread and over the years this topic has been explored in various ways on this very interesting and addicting site.  So this is the comment to the first timer who posted this and any others.  On my blog I sometimes take questions and whether it's solicited or not, I have either been asked "what to do," or complimented that "after I read your stories I understood what to do."  

The 1st thing to know, (besides that old Jed is a millionaire) is what someone said here.  That its very natural when you care for her and want to pleasure her in the most ultimate way.  Anything you are thinking about "technique" is solved by the fact that, trust me, you KNOW what to do, and secondly, hopefully she will communicate with you, not neccesarily with just words but more with writhing or moaning, what works better for her.   The second thing to know is that what is the best is how YOU will feel giving that pleasure.  And most women understand this, (but not all I know for fact) that being on the receiving end is a form of giving in and of itself.  The first time I did it I also wondered "am I doing it right" and even, knowing that some boys had left me "unsatisfied", I said to her, "don't worry, I won't stop until you come," and she replied, lovingly, "don't worry you're doing fine."  But it was the WAY she said "you are doing fine" that convinced me I really was and that she was nearing orgasm.  And armed with that confidence, it was easy from that point on with her and with every woman since.  Trust me in that it is just SO wonderful to feel that degree of closeness and togetherness, and with experience every first timer who becomes a second timer and beyond will know that its wonderful every time.  

For women looking for tips or technique, my advice is just TRY to make sure she is relaxed, and that does mean, as was stated earlier, going slow and teasingly at first with most women most times.  The best way to put her at ease and relaxed is to convince her with words and actions how MUCH you WANT to please her.  Thigh massage, boob massage, holding and cuddling, and touching her pussy at first in a less overtly sexual manner at first will lead to relaxation.  DO explore the clit and use your fingers to get the hood and flap out of the way at some point so that your tongue is ringing the bell.  And even when you find the magic way she loves it, still vary to other things and then come back.  So if she likes the flat tongue up and down, still back off and give her some circles, some gentle sucks, some tongue tip flicks, and some side tongue, lip grazes and gulpy french kisses.  (and oh yes, there are a million more ways ....wonderful to hope to know them all)   Get back with me after you do it and tell me if I was right that it's just the most wonderful experience.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

First Male Sex Doll

You MUST watch to the end. This video proves women are rising.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

14 Women Describe What Sexual Arousal Feels Like

This article will help men understand how much better sex is for women.

1.      You know that feeling like you’re going over a hill and you get that swoosh feeling in your stomach? It’s like that, but in my pants.

2.      You know that feeling you get in your chest when you drink something warm on a cold day? I feel like that, but in my pelvis.

3.      Its kinda like “Hey, I kinda wanna have sex” then after a while its like “Yeah, a penis around here would be pretty great”. Then a while later it’s like, “That dude probably fucks really good. I want to fuck him.” Then finally, “For the love of all that is holy, I want to fuck anyone.”

4.      Can’t think about anything else but sex. Every word, every phrase. Constant pulsing, panties get wet, clit easily aroused just by moving in a chair. Lips get fat, skin tingles, hyperaware of your breasts in your bra and wanting them to be fondled. Constantly deep breathing trying to control the urges. Neck is hypersensitive, get a look in your eyes like an animal ready to feed.

5.      It’s like peeing your pants a little and you feel this warm wetness. Which eventually becomes cold and uncomfortable after a while. 

6.      Ahh…for me, it’s the feeling of wanting to be filled so badly that it hurts. Like, it physically aches from how badly I need it. And the feeling of wanting to be touched is overwhelming, and craving the weight of a man on top of me. This is really sad but…I’ve been single for a while, and sometimes it gets so bad/overwhelming that I’ll actually cry :/ Oh god now I’ve made myself sad.

7.      I don’t know how to describe it from memory, not horny right now. I guess I get pretty sensitive down there and have the urge to hump/rub against anything. I also get butterflies in my stomach.

8.      For me it starts in my neck and works its way down. When my toes curl and my body starts twisting in desire it’s usually because I’ve gone from goose bumps all over my body to trying to press myself deeper into my partner. I also almost feel ticklish.

9.      Okay it’s like this: you’re a little hungry, and there’s this burger joint right down the street. Not a shitty McDonald’s or something—this high­end classy burger joint where everything tastes like heaven. You’re not hungry hungry, just enough to notice it, but when you do you start thinking about that burger place… and it makes you hungrier, and you start to feel that emptiness in your belly, and you’re like “man, I could go for a burger.” So either A) you go get your burger and it feels so juicy and good and you feel full and happy afterwards and you get all fat and lazy or B) you ignore it/eat something else and it’s okay but it’s not nearly as satisfying. Mostly (for me, anyway) horny is about scratching that itch and getting that fullness and satisfaction and all the happy hormones. Turned on is a whole different thing altogether and requires intimacy or mental stimulation.

10.   Starts with a warm, tingling pulsation of my clit and increasing wetness and builds up from there, to the point of frustration where I have trouble thinking about anything other than my complete desire to be filled.

11.   So I start off just getting a little bit flushed. I feel mildly hotter all over my body and I start to get really aware of how soft my skin feels. A mild touch of my hand on my thigh might send me shivering. I often rub my thighs together if I’m in public to alleviate the need to move, but it pretty much ends up with me getting hotter. I can feel myself start to throb and my breathing starts to fluctuate. Then the thoughts start coming, every hot situation you’ve been in, all the guys you thought were cute, and all the fantasies you’ve been having lately. I often find myself thinking about a fantasy and have to abruptly stop or I’ll get really frantic with the need to have sex. Something that always happens is the need to be filled, I can’t describe it but I just feel empty and want something in me; sliding. Even if you take care of yourself you can still feel the echoing throb, the clenching of your muscles wanting to pull something inside of you. Yeah, also you get really wet.

12.   Sometimes I have so many other symptoms going on that I don’t even realize it’s horniness. I get very antsy, I just want to go on an adventure. I want to eat good food, drive fast, do something exciting! Then when I finally have sex I’m like, oh that’s all I needed, and I can finally relax.

13.   Am I the only chick here who doesn’t like the” itch” analogy? That sounds gross. To me, it’s more like this achy, throbbing desire for pressure on the outside parts, and the feeling of needing something in me to grip on. Damnit, now I’m horny.

14.  It’s sort of like a craving to be touched that increases the more aroused I am. It spreads through my vulva with a flushing feeling that builds up. There’s a tingly sensation as well as a lot of warmth and I start getting wet. As it all increases I just get this really really tingly and warm feel that makes me have such a strong desire to be touched.

So following up to that, when I’m like just really really aroused, there’s this tingly (yes more tingles!) butterflies­ in­stomach kind of feeling which basically like pulses throughout my body and into my pussy and it just is a really intense and kind of different response. It’s hard to explain and I’m not sure if it’s like this for others, but it gets really strong. It also makes me feel really dirty…though not in a bad way.

My clitoris and in my vagina is just like this constantly racing and very moist sexual warmth and my legs pretty much spread involuntarily and I get squirmy at this point. There often also comes this strong desire to be…filled. On the topic of wetness, it’s pretty easy to notice and everything becomes so much more sensitive, not just sexual parts (though they definitely do too) I get a real excited feel in my head, but it’s also really relaxed at the same time. I just kind of go into a trance lol. My breathing normally speeds up, and mentally I just shift into this more sex­centered zone where I feel this need to be stimulated so very much or if with a partner then things like kiss them.

Friday, November 4, 2016

Life as a Bisexual Wife


Maybe there’s a woman out there who’s struggling with her attractions to women or someone who believes negative things about bisexuals.

I am your average 31 year old married mom. I live in Southern Indiana in a big house on the edge of town. I go to college and adore my pets. My daughter and I like to go to yard sales and shop at Goodwill. I love going camping in the summer and spending time with my family. I love my husband so much it hurts. On the surface, I look like the most average person in the world. In reality, I'm nothing like that. I am bisexual. This might not sound like a big deal but for me, it was life-shaking. I was blissfully unaware for most of my life that I was attracted to women. I couldn't understand why I avoided the friendship of women, why I would get that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever a pretty girl smiled at me. Most people won't understand how something like that can go unnoticed for over half your life. If you're not looking for it, you'll never see it. Bisexuality is like a disease if it's unrecognized. It slowly seeps into every aspect of your life until your relationships suffer and you feel like you're lost in a fog. Once it's acknowledged, it becomes a quest, something that you want to learn everything about and experience all at once. 

As a bisexual woman living in the heart of the Midwest, it's tough. I can't tell my friends and family that I date women outside my marriage, I have to hide the bi-themed books I read and keep my feelings to myself. No one except my husband knows what the pink, blue and purple bracelet on my right wrist means. Being bi has had its ups and downs for me. Some days I hate it. I hate being so attracted to the waitress in a restaurant that I stutter when she asks me if I need anything. I hate trolling the dating sites looking for a woman who doesn't mind dating a couple. I hate feeling like no one really knows me, except for my husband and the women I've dated. On the other hand, I love kissing a woman. I love the way her skin feels next to mine. I love the tender, romantic way women court each other. I love and nurture the part of me where my bisexuality lives. I love the way my life feels finally complete when I have a woman in it. 

My husband and I have a very strong marriage. It wasn't always this way. Before I admitted my bisexuality, I was closed off and disinterested in sex. Now I feel like there's nothing I couldn't tell him. He understands my need to be with a woman and doesn't get jealous when I check out a girl in the grocery store. Our experiments in and out of the bedroom have strengthened our marriage to the point where I know without a doubt he is my best friend and soul mate. I know it's hard for the mainstream public to understand why a couple would want to open their marriage up to another person. For me, it wasn't a choice as much as it was a necessity. I needed to be with a woman in order to be happy. If I wasn't with a woman, then I needed to acknowledge that I wanted to be. Just being able to admit to myself and him how attracted to women I am has changed my life. I believe I could go the rest of my life without being with another woman. As long as I have my husband by my side, I would be fine. Of course, I am lucky enough to have the option to date women and explore my sexuality. I don't have to find out what life is like ignoring the fact that I'm bi. I consider myself a very lucky woman to have a wonderful, supportive husband. 

I'm not “out” to anyone, other than my husband and a couple of friends. I don't intend for my family to ever know I am bi. I understand the need to come out, to finally have no more secrets from the people you care about. For me, it would be disastrous so I avoid the subject entirely. I don't think I need my mom to know I sleep with women in order to be a true bisexual. When you're dating women, that's one of the first questions they ask. Are you “out” and to whom? I'm not opposed to coming out, I think it's right for some people and not good for others. In my life, there aren't many people who would understand my need to be with women and my husband's understanding of that need. Southern Indiana isn't exactly a progressive state like that. Around here, you're considered the oddity if you're gay. Gay people are laughed at, made fun of, and in general, avoided. Coming out for me would mean my daughter would be aware of my sex life, something I really want to avoid. I don't think it's anyone's business what and who my husband and I do in our bedroom. There are people who chastise me for not coming out. I've been called a closet bisexual and more, in chat rooms and by women I've tried to date. Maybe I am but it's my decision to make. I don't need the complications in my life right now. When my husband and I move away to another state, away from our family, I probably will be more open about my sexuality. 

The other thing being bisexual has taught me is the value of loving and accepting myself. Okay, really it was my husband who taught me that but it was a result of being bi. I've learned that I can't stuff myself into a cookie cutter mold of what I think the perfect wife and mother is. The day I realized I was bi was also the day I took all of those preconceived notions and threw them straight out the window. Not that it was instantaneous, it was a long, difficult process of soul-searching and self-discovery. It was so hard to realize I was never going to be the woman I imagined I would be when I was growing up. I had to take everything I believed and shatter it. My image of self shifted. I'm still a great mom and wife like I always wanted. I'm still the person I worked really hard to be. I'm just a slightly different person and that's okay with me.