An Exclusive Interview – Meet CurvyHotWife
You know that quintessential wife with the warm and fun personality…the supermom mother of 3 type, who also happens to be a MILF, bakes “a metric shit-ton” of goodies for her family, etc.? Everyone knows the kind of woman I’m talking about.
Now imagine if she were a genuine certified hotwife who had her own website and went by the name CurvyHotwife. Would you be interested in reading an interview with a woman like that?
Of course you would. Let’s give a warm welcome to CurvyHotwife as she takes time out of her busy schedule and gives us a special peak into her secret hotwife lifestyle.
The InterviewQ: How did you get started in the hotwifing lifestyle?
A: We started in the hotwife lifestyle about 3 years ago with a pretty casual conversation to be honest. Over a few months, we had been offhandedly mentioning that when the kids were older we should try out swinging. That led to my husband bringing it up again a few days later but with a slight twist. Since it’s unlikely that we’d both be able to go out and play together (due to our schedules, young kids at home and a lack of babysitters) he asked If I’d be interested in ‘hotwifing’ since that was also a fantasy of his. I was intrigued to say the least and the conversation escalated from there.
The conversations leading up to making it a reality were casual and laid back as well, in part because I didn’t think it would work out. We discussed expectations, established boundaries and all that good (and crucial) stuff and then we made our first online dating profile. From there we kind of jumped in head first (which I don’t recommend) and the lead up was maybe a few days/weeks.
Q: What does your current hotwifing situation look like?
A: Our current hotwife situation looks very different than it did at first. Live and learn I suppose.
I never have and don’t plan on ever sharing exact numbers, it’s one of the few things that stays between myself, my husband and my partners.
As far as frequency, it varies so much. At first I was busy to say the least. Over time though there’s seems to be an ebb and flow to engaging in hotwife play. I’d say I have a date at least monthly but sometimes more often. Since this kink comes after ‘real life’ our availability varies as much as our schedules do. Overall, I’m happy with the current hotwife lifestyle we have. Dates are frequent but they don’t interfere with our day to day stuff. We communicate about dates, new experiences, and we make the kink work for us and our lifestyle.
Q: What are the 3 most appealing things to you about living your life as a hotwife?
A: The most obvious is the freedom that this lifestyle affords—the freedom to explore new and varying experiences and the freedom to continue being a sexual person with less constraints. There’s also the freedom of communication that its brought to our marriage. This kink opens up a world of new ideas, new sexy topics to discuss and more and it’s all very exciting and new to us.
Part of the appeal is with the fact that in order to live this lifestyle our marriage has to be running on all cylinders. It’s a source of happiness and pride that I know we can manage the ups and downs successfully and that we grow stronger as we live out this kink.
The community around my hotwife journey is a close second. When we started a few years ago I posted on a reddit forum to ask a few questions since it was difficult to find any relevant info online. From there people started following our journey and I’ve been fortunate to have an unbelievable amount of support and encouragement from various people around the world. What started as asking a few quick questions has turned into so much more, like learning how to build and create my hotwife website, posting my date night pics & videos online for fellow hotwife enthusiasts, meeting and chatting with incredible people from various backgrounds, creating couples kink, having a hotwife only kik group, and now I’m on snapchat as a way to reach out even more and talk to people about this lifestyle (and share my day to day life).
From day one I promised (myself and others) that I would be honest, forthright and realistic about our journey and offer what I can to help other couples navigate this kink and I’m proud that I’ve done exactly that and will continue to. I consider it a privilege that so many people have reached out to me for advice and I’m always happy to help if it means that another couple, husband, wife or single guy as a better experience with living out this fantasy. The community that I’ve found is something that was a complete surprise but it’s truly one of the highlights of this lifestyle for me.
I love having a dirty little secret. In ‘real life’ I’m a mom of three and a loving a devoted wife. I’ve been with my husband since I was 19 (I’m 33) and our friends and family have no idea that we partake in the hotwife lifestyle (let alone that we’re so heavily involved). I love that when I can’t make plans it’s usually because I’ have a hot date that night. I love that nobody knows, besides my husband, that I missed that pta meeting or girl’s night out because I was getting railed in a hotel room by a hot guy that I’d been flirting with for weeks. It’s a unique situation and while I don’t feel the least bit of shame I think it’s oddly fun to have this secret between myself and my husband that’s a little bit dirty, very unexpected and incredibly sexy.
I could go on forever about the various aspects of the hotwife lifestyle that appeal to me but those are the first three that come to mind. Honestly, it’s been an incredible journey that has brought us new friends, relationships and new opportunities that I could have never imagined.
Q: What’s your favorite food, and favorite dessert?
A: Easy, I like meat (vegetarians need not apply) so I’ll go with cheeseburgers. My favorite dessert is harder to answer; decadence is my downfall. I bake all the time so anything homemade like pie, cookies, cake, etc. I like it all to be honest and I don’t want to pick a favorite.
Q: What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done in the bedroom?
A: I honestly don’t consider myself kinky so this one is always difficult to answer. Sleeping with other men is my kinky thing I do but we’ve done the usual blindfolds, toys, bondage tape, etc.
I keep it vanilla on dates for the most part, the kinkier it is the greater level of trust it requires so my rule is nothing that requires a safe word on dates, at home those rules go out of the window.
Q: Who’s your favorite painter, and favorite musician?
A: My favorite painter is Salvador Dali. Cliché, I know. I enjoy being able to get lost in a painting and I like to walk away pleased and slightly confused so Dali does it for me. Favorite musician is like asking me to pick my favorite child, it depends on the day. The top few in rotation are Bob Marley, Queen, RHCP, Sublime, Tupac, John Denver, Fleetwood Mac, Biggie Smalls, Zeppelin, Billy Joel, Prince…the list goes on and on.
Q: What advice do you have for couples who are interested in pursuing the hotwife lifestyle, but can’t find any good men, or the right men?
A: My advice would depend on where they’re looking. There are a lot of dating sites and apps and personally I prefer the online route as opposed to including friends or colleagues.
As far as finding the right men, give guys a chance. Many couples have ‘a list’ of highly specific wants in a new partner. Obviously having preferences and standards is to be expected but maybe ease up on trying to check off every box every time. This is a bit of a strange situation for most guys so give them a little wiggle room and don’t hold too strictly to ideals. There are a lot of great guys out there, you just have to have the patience to vet so many others but I think it’s worth it because when you find someone who fulfills what you’re looking for its really amazing and makes for a great time for everyone involved.
Q: How can you be so sure you wouldn’t leave your husband for someone you’re sleeping with?
A: It’s not easy to articulate something that you just ‘know’ with every fiber of your being. I can say that it’s just not an option in my mind or my heart. Open marriage or not, there’s quite literally nothing that could come between myself, my husband, and our marriage. We’ve built a life together and he’s my best friend and I truly don’t want anyone or anything else so there’s no temptation or desire to be swayed otherwise.
I strongly believe that if the temptation of being with someone stronger, fitter, wealthier, etc is there then this is not the kink for you. I’ve met many men who, on paper, are amazing ’catches’ but if you’re not interested in catching someone it doesn’t make a difference.
Q: What are 5 things a man can do to help ease his wife into the hotwife lifestyle if she’s a bit unsure about it?
A: First, there’s a big difference between easing into this and convincing. I’m not a fan of talking someone into a kink they aren’t into or ‘tricking’ her into doing it. If she’s on the fence though (which I’ve also written about in more detail) and wanting to test the waters or understand the kink better here’s what I recommend.
- Dirty Talk: If she’s into then it can be an optimal time to ‘play out’ the things you’d like to see her do with someone else. It’ll help her visualize where your expectations are and what kind of specific things turn you on about the hotwife fantasy.
- Roleplay: Similar to dirty talk in that she should already be into it. Play out the scenarios that she’d like to engage in. Pretend she’s on a date, record a roll in the hay like she might do on a date, get dressed up, wear a different cologne to really drive the idea home.
- Toys: Buy some new sex toys- get different sizes, colors, textures. Play with blindfolds and pretend there’s a third guy joining you in the bedroom. Tease and play and make it an enjoyable experience that you’ll both want more of.
- Create the space to share fantasies: Have the kind of relationship that you can truly talk about anything openly. Don’t be judgmental if her ideas are vastly different than your expectations of the hotwife fantasy. I’ve heard from so many husbands who want this to play out in a very specific way and when their wife has different ideas they completely lose it on her. It’s cruel, unfair and doesn’t foster an atmosphere that she’ll feel excited to talk about sexy ideas and fantasies with you.
- No idea what else to do. Foster an environment where you can explore fantasies, build the trust it takes to be successful in this lifestyle, start slow at home and go at her pace, don’t pressure/shame/guilt her into it. Lastly, pray to the hotwife gods that she’s a secret freak and wants to get some strange from time to time.
A: I passed this off to him so his answer is:
I like that being able to do it successfully is proof that our marriage is strong, and that we’re able to explore thoughts and ideas that might not have come up otherwise. Being in a hotwife relationship enables my wife to have a more varied selection of experiences and a different form of friendships than are allowed in conventional marriages.
I enjoy seeing my wife able to relax, have less inhibited sex, and “step outside” of her day to day life to enjoy herself and meet new people. Of course I also love the plethora of provocative pictures and videos I now have of my wife; I absolutely love even seeing her naked, and now I’m able to watch her getting fucked, playing with different cocks, and doing very sexy things.
I’ll add that it’s enabled us to talk about sex more openly and without judgement, and that she’s more comfortable talking about her private sexual thoughts and feelings which I enjoy immensely.
Q: What are questions a husband and wife should ask themselves before embarking on the road to living the hotwife lifestyle?
A: I’ve written this up before and spelled out quite a few questions that I think couples should peruse as a starting point and/or conversation topics. Communication is key so I love hearing that it’s helped couples to ask things they were apprehensive to on their own, or that it helped them understand each other better before starting.
Q: What are the 3 biggest mistakes a couple could make when living the hotwife lifestyle?
A: 1) Failing to communicate openly and honestly. It’s not easy, but it’s vital to making this fantasy work. It takes a huge amount of trust and respect; along with that comes the need to be open with each other about your thoughts, feelings, expectations, desires and opinions.
2) Getting caught in the kink: there’s a few ways it can play out: falling into the whirlwind of new sexual energy can be intoxicating but it makes it very easy to let your sex life center around this kink. Avoid that and make sure you still take time to ‘be yourselves’ and not feel the need to make everything about the fantasy. It can also be getting caught up in what other people want. Some men are very suggestive – ok, they’re downright pushy – it’s especially true when you’re new to this. It’s easy to let the third person have too much input and you can lose sight of what you want from the experience as a couple. Make sure you put your needs and wants first, and then find a third who’s into whatever you’re putting out there.
I can only think of two. I think that if you’re being open, honest and putting your relationship first most other things will fall into place easily. Also every couple is going to make mistakes, it’s not as avoidable as we’d all like it to be unfortunately. How you, as a couple, handles those mistakes it what matters. Mistakes can make you stronger as a couple, they can help you define what you want this lifestyle to look like, and they can help you open up. Embrace the mistakes because they’re going to happen; just make the most of moving on in a positive way.